He Said What!
by Sar'Kalu
Summary: OneShot: When Sirius Black saunters into the Gryffindor Common Room, his proclamation of love for a mysterious Some One has Lily Evans on a warpath, what she discovers completely and utterly shocks her. Contains Slash.


"It's the last week of the year!" Sirius Black sang out loudly as he bounded into the common room, the portrait behind him swinging wildly. His shirt was ruffled and his hair stuck up at odd ends. His grey eyes were sparkling mischievously with barely concealed mirth. He looked in short, thoroughly snogged. Remus Lupin slipped in behind his overly enthusiastic friend laden with books. His golden eyes were shimmering with amusement as he watched his best friend.

"Where have you been?" James Potter demanded of his best friend and brother. "Don't you know what time it is?" James was grinning happily as he watched Sirius skipped around the room. Sirius' long legs were kicking up, his arms waving around as he did his favourite crazy dance.

"I've been out!" Sirius trilled, grinning broadly.

"You look thoroughly snogged, with the possibility of shagged," Peter Pettigrew observed from the corner where he sat playing chess with with his roommate and friend Frank Longbottom.

"Then that observation and possibility would be completely correct!" Sirius laughed falling into an arm chair by the fire.

"Merlin, Black, keep it down!" Lily Evans exclaimed from her position next to Alice Prewet near the Common Room window, the corners of her mouth twitching. "You sound love struck and completely annoying!"

"Maybe I am," Sirius grinned, tapping his nose confidentially. Sirius looked entirely smug and unselfconscious. James grinned, lazily pulling out the snitch he'd snatched the year before.

Remus choked from where he sat reading a book, "You in love? I never would have thought THAT possible!" He grinned at his friend, his amber eyes knowing and secretive. "But then, Lily is correct that your currant behavior certainly suggests that!"

"Ah, Moony, you don't know the half of it," Sighed Sirius lying backwards in contentment. His eyes closed and his face became dreamy and completely out of it.

"I think I know more than you think," Remus grinned cheekily. He winked at James and Lily who were staring at him in shock.

"Go on, Moony!" James said in a hushed voice, "Who is it?" James was restraining a grin, his hazel eyes sparkling with the thought of teasing his best mate. Lily stood and moved next to James, willing to put her hatred on hold in the light of Sirius' revelation.

"I'm sorry, I can't tell you. It would be too much of a shock!" Remus laughed. "Sorry, Prongs. Maybe never."

"Don't you mean, 'next time', Remus?" Lily queried, as both she and James leant forward to hear what he said. They were on tenterhooks. Sirius Black in love? With who?

"No, I really do mean never," Remus said calmly, silently pleased at the crestfallen expressions of his friends. It wasn't often that he could be evil.

"I have an idea," Peter announced his eyes gleaming with triumph. "Well, Frank and I have an idea really," Peter allowed, smiling at Frank. Alice Prewet where she sat across the room suddenly started to pay attention to the conversation. Her secret love of Frank being no secret, really.

"We're listening," Lily commented, her curiosity clearly apparent in her voice.

"I think we should have a game of Truth or Dare," Peter said gleefully.

"Is that all?" James asked disappointed.

"No, I have a bottle of vertiserum in my trunk," Frank said completely offhand.

"Why?" Lily asked scandalized.

"Just in case..." Frank said trailing off, he flicked his eyes over to Alice who was trying, unsuccessfully to keep a smile off her face as she listened in.

"Just in case?" Lily echoed, her emerald eyes wide and disbelieving as she regarded who she thought had been the only sane sixth year Gryffindor male.

"Oh hush, Evans," James exclaimed excitedly, as he pushed his glasses back up his nose. Lily gaped at him, James wasn't often dismissive of her, and it hurt when he was.

Frank raced upstairs quickly. "I have it!" He yelled loudly as he came thundering back down into the common room. James let out a yell of utter triumph, while Lily and Remus let out a huff of disapproval.

"What are you lot on about now?" Sirius asked as he came back to earth with a loud crash from his day dreams or possible fantasies when Frank came rocketing back down the stairs. "What is that?" He asked warily eyeing the bottle of Veriteserum like it would bite him.

"Pads, they're wanting to play 'Truth or Dare' to force your, er, loves name out of you," Remus said awkwardly, his voice was strained, but his eyes were warm as they gazed upon his love sick friend.

"Oh," Sirius said, his grey eyes glittering strangely. "Why do you guys want to know so bad?"

"Because it's you!" Lily all but yelled, "You never fall in love! You use girls. Then you leave them!" She was half standing her eyes filled with demented looking fire. Sirius found her strangely terrifying. Why was James so hung up on this crazy girl?

"I-" Sirius stuttered momentarily. "I don't use them though.." Sirius flinched as he ducked under Lily's wrathful green gaze.

"Don't use them?" She spat condescendingly. Lily was beside herself with fury, Sirius Orion Black was a known womanizer. He couldn't keep himself in his pants longer than ten seconds and Lily was going to make him see that, even if it was the last thing she did. "Black, Lupin, Potter, floor. Now!" Lily spat gesturing to the semicircle that Peter and Frank had started. Alice and her friends Mary McDonald and Willow Harley joined them hesitantly.

"Lily, what are you doing?" James asked exchanging glances with his best friends. Peter looked close to fainting.

"I'm going to make Black see the error of his womanizing ways," Lily announced calmly, her green eyes glittering with malice at her least favourite Gryffindor male.

"Er, that's a bit harsh, Evans," Peter muttered, flicking his eyes to Sirius and Remus. The two of them had very different expressions on their faces. Sirius looked dumbfounded while Remus was plainly amused.

"No, no, Pete, Sirius completely deserves his reputation. After all, we know how many girls he's been with. The numbers don't lie." Remus said conspiratorially to Peter, winking.

"I suppose," Peter said hesitantly. "Personally I don't see how it's Evans' problem." Lily gaped at them. The four of them were smirking and exchanging glances like it was perfectly fine.

"Right, I think we should start with Black!" Lily snapped, eyeing the four laughing boys with extreme irritation.

"Nuh, Uh, Evans," Black waggled a finger annoyingly. "Your game, you're the host, you start." Black winked at her in amusement.

"Fine," Lily stammered, flustered beyond belief. Lily spun the bottle Remus conjured for her. It spun a few rotations before landing on Frank.

"Well then," Frank said winking at his dorm mates. "I suppose we should find out why Miss Evans thinks Messr Padfoot is a, how did she put it? Womanizing bastard?" Frank looked at Sirius inquiringly. Sirius nodded shortly, his grey eyes fixated upon Lily.

Lily blinked, why were they so against her making this accusations? It was a well known fact by the entire school. Girls throwing themselves on him left right and centre. She said as much to Frank and Sirius, "And what's worse is you don't even give them the time of day, you just brush them off now. You used to at least tell them no." Lily said Her voice firmly outraged.

Sirius nodded as though she was being fair, which she decidedly wasn't in his opinion. "Okay, I do understand where you're coming from. But no one actually understands that I don't want those girls!" Sirius complained. "I don't want any of them. Nor do I actually go out with them, I prefer people who are normal." Remus concealed a grin behind his hand.

"Oh." Lily said in confusion. "I see." Lily regarded the young master Black silently as Frank spun the bottle. It landed on Alice.

"Truth or Dare?" Alice asked politely, noting that the boys hadn't given Lily that option, but even Alice agreed that Lily was being unfair to Sirius. She couldn't see what was directly under her nose, she was too caught up in six years worth of unbiased hatred.

"Truth, please," Frank requested, his brown eyes sparkled at Alice's hazel ones.

"Do you have a crush on anyone?" Alice asked sweetly, her face gently smiling at Franks.

Frank blushed crimson, "Um yeah," He hesitated when he saw her eyes became downcast. "Did you want to know who?" He asked her hopefully.

"Um, no, it's okay. You don't have to tell me, Frank." Alice told him quietly. She had hoped that he liked her back, but why would he?

"Oh go on, Frank," Peter encouraged. "Tell her!" The other boys nodded their eyes surprisingly gentle upon the shy couple.

"Yeah, Frank, trust us on this one!" Sirius agreed enthusiastically.

"Frank," Alice began confused, "What are they on about." Alice could barely allow herself to hope.

"Well, I've had this massive crush on this girl since fourth year. But she's a year younger than me, and she's so beautiful and kind and sweet and loving to everyone." Frank explained. "She's the most gorgeous person I know. But I never thought I'd have a chance with her. The guys always thought I did, but I was never so sure." Alice looked at his earnest face in confusion. What was he telling her?

"What are you saying, Frank?" She asked regarding his handsome face with fearful eyes.

"Well, I guess I'm saying I've liked you for ages. And loved you for longer." Frank said in a rush. He ducked his head in embarrassment. He was usually a quiet and reserved person, but now he'd just told more of himself than ever. What would she say?

"I see," Alice said trying to understand what he'd just said. "You know, there's this guy above me that I really like, he's really sweet, gentle and handsome."

"I knew you didn't like me the same way." Frank moaned.

Alice giggled at him, "It is you silly!" She giggled again. The group before them were smiling wildly at this out pouring of emotion that had just occurred.

"So, what d'you think, Lily," James said suddenly waggling his eyebrows at the petite red head. "Us next do you think? Coz you know I love you!" James winked at her, his hazel eyes twinkling.

"Way to ruin a perfect moment, Potter," Lily sighed resignedly. "Who's next?

"Alice," Remus said his eyes on the newly minted couple before him. "But I think she might be out of it for now." Remus smiled gently at Frank and Alice.

"Aw, Moony," Sirius said smiling at his friend. "You're such a sap!"

Remus rolled his eyes, "And you and James are such mood killers, Padfoot."

"Excuse me," Willow Harley said her voice hesitant and shy. "But if it's Alice's go, and well," Willow looked at her friend in amusement where she and Frank were snogging like their lives depended on it. "Well, it doesn't exactly look like she's able to play right now." Willow giggled at the guys faces. Especially Remus and Sirius, those two thought they were so sneaky! She giggled again, "I thought either Mary or I could have a go."

"Sounds good to me, sweetheart," Sirius smiled at her and winked.

"See? That! That right there, Black!" Lily snapped suddenly.

"Lily, it's fine, I don't mind. I know Sirius doesn't mean anything by it. It'd be a bit beyond me to steal a guy so obviously in love." Willow said smiling at him gently.

"Don't sell yourself short, beautiful girl," Remus said sweetly watching her curiously. Did she know?

"I'm not. I just know who he's dating, and I think he and his, uh, girl," Willow smirked at Remus. "Well they make a really cute couple." Remus blinked at her and then smiled at her.

Sirius gaped at her and then let out a wild yell and pulled Willow into a bone crushing hug. "How have I never thought you weren't a beautiful girl, Willow Harley?" Sirius proclaimed extravagantly.

"That's really kind of you, Willow," James nodded a pleased expression on his face. Peter was also nodding in agreement, his watery blue eyes fixed on her avidly. He sent her a wink and smirk.

"Okay, so I'll spin then?" Willow said breathlessly. Ignoring Lily's confused and irritated look. Lily could see she was missing something. Willow spun the bottle and it landed on Peter.

"Truth or Dare?" Peter asked his nose twitching.

"Um, Dare?" Willow asked nervously.

"I uh, dare you to go to Hogsmead and procure some fire whiskey." Peter said quickly.

"Awesome idea, Wormtail," Sirius crowed. Peter looked flushed with pleasure at Sirius' comment. "But you should totally go with her, so she doesn't get lost."

"But it's my go now," Peter protested feebly.

"Oh yeah," Sirius said. "Well have your go, then go." Sirius looked quite pleased with himself. "And has anyone noticed that we haven't used any of the veritaserum yet?" Sirius commented cheekily.

James slapped his forehead, "Merlin, Pads, you're right!" Lily chuckled suddenly. "What's so funny?" James asked nervously, eyeing Lily.

"You called Sirius pads.." Lily giggled. "In the muggle world a pad is something women use while on their period." Lily giggled again, this time Remus, Willow and Mary joined in.

"Merlin, Evans, you're not serious are you?" Sirius asked horrified, while James edged away from his best mate.

"Very." Lily ginned mischievously. "And gathering from the way James is moving away from you, he knew too!" Lily giggled again.

"Potter!" Sirius roared at his best friend, launching himself at the boy who was closer than a brother to him.

"Merlin, Padfoot, get off. I'm sorry." James laughed as he tried to wriggle from under Sirius' fingers.

Sirius suddenly froze, "Wait!" He stared at Lily as though the world was going to end. "You did, I wasn't hearing things!" Sirius gaped at her in astonishment.

"What did I do, Black?" Lily asked worriedly, why was he staring at her like that?

"Yeah, Pads, what did she do?" James asked trying to illicit a response from his friend who was currently gaping like an idiot at Lily Evans.

"She-" Sirius sputtered helplessly, "Mate, she called you JAMES!" Sirius was grinning at Lily like Christmas had come early.

"She did?" James asked suddenly enthusiastic, his face gleeful.

"I heard is too," Remus put in helpfully.

"Same," Willow and Mary added in unison.

"No," Lily stuttered looking at James' hopeful hazel eyes. "I totally didn't!" Lily was freaking out, she hadn't meant to, it had been a complete accidental slip of the tongue. "I so did not call Potter," She spat his last name for effect, "James!" She said his first name scathingly.

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks," Sirius exclaimed joyfully. "Pete, Hogsmead, we need to celebrate this momentous occasion!" Sirius leapt up, pulling James with him and danced around the virtually empty common room loudly and gleefully. Peter dragged Willow out of the Portrait Hole, presumably to Hogsmead for the fire whiskey.

Remus sat on the floor laughing, his golden eyes dancing with joy as he watched his two best friends dance around screaming that Evans loved Potter. Lily was watching them with vague amusement verging in hysteria. Eventually, it got too much and Lily ran upstairs to avoid the near party like atmosphere that James and Sirius were infecting the others with. Mary MacDonald, who was usually really shy and quiet, even more so than Willow, had jumped up her short brown bob dancing around her face as she joined the impromptu conga line that Sirius had set up. Frank and Alice had managed to stop snogging long enough to catch up on what had happened.

"I've known she likes James for ages. But I still don't think she's going to accept him as a potential partner until next year at least." Alice commented, dampening their spirits a bit.

When Peter and Willow rejoined the group they found Frank and Alice conspicuously absent, and Sirius was attempting to handstand while reciting the alphabet. Sirius was failing dismally because he kept falling over when he reach 'L'. Peter grinned at his friends as he set the five bottles of fire whiskey on the coffee table. Willow smirked as she added the twenty bars of honeydukes finest to the pile, Remus' eyes bulging at the sight of the chocolate.

"Whoa, Moony, you're going to loose that trim waste line if you eat all of that," James laughed as Remus dove upon the chocolate pile.

"Prongs, even you know that pulling Moony away from chocolate is like trying to remove Padfoot from the mirror in the morning!" Peter quipped.

"And isn't that the truth!" James laughed again, ignoring the 'hurt' expressions of his friends. "Oh please, like you two are actually hurt by that!" James grinned at them.

Sirius shrugged and pulled out a bottle opener from the lintel. With a loud pop, he uncapped the first bottle. Remus waved his wand and conjuring glasses. Sirius then poured every one a decent measure and handed the glassed out.

"Cheers," James saluted. Downing his drink.

"Cheers," They returned. Downing their drinks.

"Merlin," Mary wheezed, her hazel eyes watering. "That shits strong!"

"First shot, MacDonald?" Peter asked lazily, pouring himself a double measure.

"Yeah," She gasped, still recovering.

"Good hey?" Sirius commented nonchalantly.

"Always is," Remus rejoined, winking at Sirius.

"So, Remus, your turn." James said calmly keeping an eye on Sirius who was on his fourth shot, he'd conjured another three glasses and was lining them up and then shooting them straight. "Padfoot, take it a bit slower, mate!" James barked at his best mate.

Remus rolled his eyes and spun the bottle, his eyes watched its progress as it spun around wildly. It slowed to a stop on Mary.

Mary grinned evilly at Remus, "Truth or Dare?" She asked wickedly.

Remus decided he definitely didn't like that expression. "Dare," Remus said lazily, ignoring the trepidation curling in his stomach.

"I dare you to snog Sirius Orion Black!" Mary sang out, winking at Willow who abruptly dashed off.

"Where is she off to?" Remus asked warily, aware of Sirius who was completely still next to him, caught between pouring his eighth shot.

"Camera, of course," Mary said flippantly.

"I have it!" Willow yelled at the top of the stairs, waving a black box above her head.

"Merlin, is that all?" Remus asked chuckling. He shrugged, he thought it might actually be a good idea, after all Sirius had been driving him insane all night. Those sparkling grey eyes and torturous fingers that had occasionally drifted down his spine. "Hey, Paddy?" Remus smirked at his friend.

"Yeah, Moony?" Sirius asked hoarsely his grey eyes meeting the slashing gold of Remus'.

"C'mere!" Remus grinned, grabbing Sirius' tie and pulling him down to him. The was a momentary fight for dominance where Remus ended up below Sirius. Sirius' hand fisted in his hair. Sirius' hips pressing down on his own. Remus could vaguely hear the snapping of a camera lens, but he was too enamored with what Sirius was doing to his lips. Remus slid a hand down to Sirius' hips, gripping it tightly, making Sirius moan into his mouth. The other running through Sirius' slightly too long hair.

"Oh My God!" Yelled a voice. Lily Evans stood at the foot of the stairs, her mouth gaping open as she gazed upon the worlds biggest snog fest. Sirius was pinning Remus down. One hand balancing his weight above Remus, the other fisted in Remus' hair. Remus for the most part seemed to be enjoying the attention as he was, seemingly and unknowingly massaging Sirius' lower back and buttocks. The other was running itself through Sirius' hair. Lily Evans couldn't remember being so shocked in her short life. James and Peter were watching the show with amused expressions. They knew. Willow and Mary were seemingly fascinated too, their eyes mesmerized by the spectacle of two extremely hot guys making out.

Sirius growled at Remus' nipping of his lips. The tawny haired boy was easily stronger than him, but he didn't usually assert dominance unless they were alone and away from prying eyes. Sirius was the best at clothing repair charms, simply because his got ripped a lot. His little werewolf wasn't particularly patient when it came to clothing. Sirius moaned into Remus' mouth as he felt Remus dig his fingers into his hip, back and butt. He could feel Remus' chest rumbling below him as the tension between the rose. Remus slipped a hand up and under Sirius' shirt, playing with the tense stomach muscles he found there. Remus growled.

"Okay," James said suddenly hearing Remus growl. "Time for be you lot!" He started ushering them upstairs. Peter nodded in agreement as a whine was heard between the two canines on the floor.

"Sirius, Remus, we're going now, play nicely you two!" Peter called loudly.

"Huh?" Sirius looked up, his grey eyes glazed with desire, and his lips swollen.

"We're going upstairs," Peter reiterated.

"No, s'okay," Remus mumbled. "We'll go." The two canines stood shakily, feeling unsteady on their feet.

"Okay, you guys go." James agreed, "Just try and get the right bed this time!" He yelled after them.

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius said waving a hand. "Now, my darling little Moony, where were we?" Sirius growled stalking into the room.

"Merlin," Lily muttered dazedly sitting on the floor. "How long has that been happening?"

"What, the kissing or the sex?" James asked eloquently, flopping down next to her.

"Both." Lily said, grabbing an open bottle of fire whiskey and taking a swig.

"They've been together since the end of fourth. I suspect they didn't start to have sex until a few weeks ago." Peter commented calmly. He gestured Mary and Willow to seat themselves down. He passed them a shot each. "They're a little wild aren't they?" Peter laughed.

"And you guys are okay with it?" Lily asked surprised.

"Of course, why wouldn't we?" James asked. "They're our friends, and if that's what makes them happy, they should, you know, go for it." James laughed along with Peter.

"Oh merlin," Lily moaned suddenly. "I've been such a bitch to Sirius!"

"It's okay, Lily," Peter said, surprising her. "He knows you didn't know."

"Yeah, and it really is the prats fault, he should have nipped the rumors at the bud, so to speak. Instead he let them escalate. Just don't tell anyone about this, they aren't ready." James said, relaxing backwards, rucking up his shirt to scratch at his stomach. He grinned at the howl from upstairs.

"What on earth?" Willow commented on the noise, wonderingly.

"They forgot to put a silencing spell on the curtains again," James groaned, covering his face with his hands. "They can be fairly loud. We have a standing agreement that they can do anything they want as long as they silence the curtains." Peter nodded in agreement, wrinkling his nose slightly.

The girls stared at the two boys momentarily before breaking out into peals of laughter. Their despairing faces were too much. They settled in to a easy and comfortable silence, the sounds of swishing liquid in the bottles of fore whiskey the only break to the deadened atmosphere.

"Well," Willow started, yawning. "I think I'll turn in." Mary nodded and joined her as the two girls trekked up the stairs to their dorm. Pete lay on the floor staring up at the ceiling.

"I think I might do the same, coming Pete?" James asked smiling at his friend. "Night Lils," James smiled, and before she could say or do anything, he pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. "I do love you, you know." he winked and then disappeared up to the sixth year boys dorms.

"Oh Merlin, Sirius!" Peter cried, echoed by James cry of "Remus!"

"What?" Came Sirius' gruff voice.

"Close your fucking curtains! And silence them too!" James howled.

Lily smiled she could almost imagine both James and Peter clawing at their eyes, or holding their hands out to cover the sight of Remus' or more likely, Sirius' arse pointing at the doorway. Lily let out a peal of laughter, quite taken with the ridiculousness of the situation. Sirius and Remus were irrevocably in love. While Peter seemed to be completely smitten with Willow. Mary had started dating a boy from Ravenclaw. And she, Lily Evans, she was damn certain had a kindling crush on James Harold Potter. Seventh year was going to be fairly interesting, Lily predicted with certainty. It was a great time to be alive. Lily laughed again, heading up to her dorm, completely happy and content with where the future was heading

FINISH.


End file.
